A New Life
by Shamesis
Summary: Both Alex and Olivia are shot, declared dead, and put into Witness Protection. Although they were only friends at the time, Hammond assumed they were romantically involved, and set them up in protection as a Same-Sex married couple.
1. The New Beginning

Title: A New Life (1/9)  
>Author: ShameSis<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Pairing: AlexOlivia  
>Disclaimer: I don't own any SVU characters<br>Spoilers: Up till Alex was shot, then becomes A/U  
>POV: Alex<br>A/N #1: This is based on the challenge I presented in Livejournal, and I decided to try it myself. Was initially posted in LiveJournal June 2010 (so you may have read it back then).

Summary: Both Alex and Olivia are shot, declared dead, and put into Witness Protection. Although they were only friends at the time, Hammond assumed they were romantically involved, and set them up in protection as a Same-Sex married couple.  
>AN #2: This is my first attempt at writing anything other than a university essay (years ago). Please be gentle.

Chapter 1 – The New Beginning

I'm not even sure where to begin to describe how much my life has changed in the last 3 weeks. My name is Emily Winters. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact because it wasn't like that 3 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago my name was Alexandra Cabot. I was a Prosecuting Attorney for the Special Victims Unit in New York. Now, I'm living in a safe house healing from gun shot wounds preparing to start my new life as Emily Winters (nee Kelly). I spend most of my time reading and memorizing a 2-inch binder full of fabricated information about my new identity. When I'm not learning about my new 'self' I'm learning about my new 'wife'. Yes, I said wife, because when I leave this safe house, I'll be moving into a small house in Iowa with my wife of 1 year, Shelly. I don't know Shelly Winters very well yet, but I did know her very well as my co-worker, and friend, Detective Olivia Benson in New York.

It's too complicated to fully explain how exactly I've ended up in this situation. Apparently Olivia and I pushed too hard against a drug lord in New York, and he decided to push back, hard. He put hits out on our lives, and after the recent almost successful murder attempt that left both of us severely injured, the FBI decided to officially declare us dead in order to keep both of us alive, and to protect our families and friends. So now Olivia and I have been murdered and buried, and the married couple of Emily and Shelly Winters have been born.

It's funny how we ended up being married in this new life. Apparently Agent Hammond investigated both Liv and I when we first started 'interfering' (his words) in his drug lord investigation. His agents witnessed Liv and I go out for drinks after work and spend the odd evening watching movies at each other's apartments to unwind (which occasionally resulted in sleepovers on each others couch), and incorrectly assumed we were in a romantic relationship. Thus, when he was setting up our new identities he 'did us a favor' (his words) and kept us together. When we told him we weren't actually a couple, he practically whined about how hard he had to convince his superiors to set up the unorthodox identities as a Same-Sex Married couple. It was complicated by the fact that only 5 US states grant Same-Sex marriages, so our backgrounds had to have us get married in one of the 5 states, and then relocate to another of those 5 states (none of which are far enough away from New York for their comfort). In the end, Liv and I decided that although it will be difficult, to say the least, to pretend to be a married lesbian couple, we would rather go into Witness Protection together so we'd have each other's friendship as a support.

Although Liv and I have been co-workers for many years, and friends for almost as long, I've begun to realize just how much our friendship was mostly based on our common careers. We've never spoken in depth about things that were intimately personal. I know about her rapist father, and her alcoholic mother, but we've never really talked about it. She knows that I come from a wealthy but emotionally detached family, and that I have, had, high career and political aspirations, but we've never really talked about my history either. We did talk a lot, and shared a lot, but it was rarely on a truly emotionally intimate level. There were a few exceptions of course, after some of our particularly difficult cases such as Chery Avery and Sam Cavanaugh; we both shared some deep frustrations and guilt and sobbing tears. But most of our time spent together revolved around rehashing work, or simply being quiet enjoying the company while sharing a few drinks or watching a few movies. I know she's had a few relationships with men (a fellow cop, and a newspaper reporter, etc.), and to my knowledge she's never been with a woman, but we never talked in depth about our relationships with those outside of the precinct or courthouse. Personally, I've had the occasional dates over the years, all with men, but my focus has been strictly on growing my career to reach those lofty career goals. I've never entertained the thought of having a relationship with any female, although I must confess to having a few female crushes in my youth, but I suspect most of us do.

So that's how I've arrived at where I'm at now. I'm Emily Winters (nee Kelly), married to Shelly Winters. Apparently Shelly didn't want to be named Shelly Kelly, so I took her last name. We both met through mutual friends while living and working in Vermont. After meeting, and dating, and living together, after 2 years together she proposed and we legally wed a year ago in Vermont. 3 months ago a drunk driver killed Shelly's parents, who she was very close to. The loss of her parents made living in Vermont, surrounded by memories of her loss, too difficult. So we decided to leave Vermont and go as far away from there as the same-sex marriage law would allow.

And thus begins our new life, together, in Iowa.


	2. Welcome to Iowa

A/N : Here's Chapter #2. I'd love to hear if people like it

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Chapter 2 – Welcome to Iowa

When we were still in the safe house, nothing seemed real. It felt like I was going through an intensive Acting camp where I was living and breathing a new role. Shelly (Liv) and I spent our days memorizing backgrounds, going through physiotherapy, and interacting with FBI agents. Our physical recovery from the shooting was hard. Shelly was shot in the ribs and has some residual soreness and loss of breath from the lung damage. I don't think my shoulder will ever be 100% again from the 2nd bullet (the other hit my stomach). Most nights we barely had energy to say goodnight as we entered our shared bedroom, and crawled into our shared bed. The agents said it was important to get used to being a married couple right away by sharing our personal space, but at the time it just seemed like we were too exhausted to examine our intimate situation to feel like it was more than a lengthy sleepover.

Now, it's all very real. Shelly and I are now alone in our small 1 bedroom bungalow. Thankfully our home was very tastefully decorated in earth tones and non-specific knickknacks. However, nothing about the house represents either of our personalities. Well, not the personalities of Alex and Liv. We still haven't learned who Shelly and Emily truly are. Now that we're in our home, without the buffers of the many FBI agents, we're getting a crash course in this new married life.

The first few days here were very awkward and we were both very careful with each other. I know at least I was, intentionally and painfully so. I've never lived with any of my previous boyfriends. I've never even had to share a bedroom with a sister. The home I grew up in was 5 times the size of this bungalow. I've rarely shared my bed multiple nights in a row, and it was always 'my' bed, or 'his' bed. It was never 'OUR' bed, or 'our' room, or 'our' home. I've always valued and cherished my independence and my privacy. I never particularly played well with others, or was good at sharing. I think that's one of the reasons Liv and I initially formed our friendship bond as we were similarly isolated, and both enjoyed and appreciated our independence. Now, there really is no such thing as privacy, and we are no longer independent because our lives revolve around each other.

We've been very busy getting our house in order before we start our new jobs. We've done some minor furniture re-decorating and put out some of the pictures we posed for while at the safe-house (of our 'marriage', our 'honeymoon', our 'friends' (or FBI agents) etc.) Things are getting easier though between us. We're learning about each other on deeper levels than we ever thought or intended we would. I think we both realize that we're going to be in this situation for a long time, perhaps a lifetime, and we'll need to truly rely on each other to make this work. Out our back door we have a 2-seat porch swing, and we've started the routine of spending an hour or so together before bed on our swing getting to know each other better. I've always admired her for her strength and her caring nature. Over this last week in our new home, I've begun to appreciate so many more things about her. Liv has a quick-witted sense of humor and delivers one-liners that have me laughing out loud. She's extremely intelligent and is well versed in all sorts of classic literature and art. She's a dog person (I'm a cat person). She's intellectually stimulated by dramatic movies, but prefers to watch romantic comedies.

Tonight is our final night in our bubble as we both start our new jobs in the morning. Shelly will be working as a manager at a security company training and organizing a payroll of security guards. Although she'll be able to use her police knowledge to succeed in her new role, I fear that the job won't give her the challenge and fulfillment her life as a cop gave her. Liv was a cop to the core. However, I am privately thankful that she won't spend time in the field. I don't know that I could handle being married to a cop, living with the fear that at any time I could get the call that my wife was killed. I'm sort of looking forward to my new job as a history instructor at the local college. Although I (as Alex) majored in law, my minor was in history, and I've always enjoyed imparting knowledge in front of a group of people.

As we sit together tonight on our porch, I can feel a nervous energy that we both share. Tomorrow we'll meet new people; we'll each face new tests, tests that we must pass. Tomorrow we are officially Shelly and Emily Winters, married lesbian couple. Tomorrow we can't just convince ourselves, we'll have to convince others.


	3. Coming Out

Chapter 3 – Coming Out  
>~~~~~~<p>

Authors Note: I can't believe how many alerts have been added, and I'm very appreciative of the people who took the time to review. A few reviewers requested a change in style, to have more of a dialogue technique and less of a journal/diary style. My attempt at this is why this 3rd chapter has been so delayed. Even adding this small bit of dialogue has been much more challenging for me than I expected, and I have tremendous respect for all writers who have that skill. Alas, it is not a skill I possess apparently, so dialogue based writing will not be prevalent in future chapters. But, I tried :)

~~~~~~  
>The first few hours at the College were about what I had expected. Everyone was nice, welcoming and polite. Initial brief introductions were made, and I'm thankful I didn't see any overt negative reactions when I told people that I was married, to a woman. It was an odd experience, as I'd never had any personal reason to experience what it was like to come out as a lesbian. I now have a better understanding of the nervousness and emotional turmoil that can be involved, and pledge that if I ever have access to Alex's money again that I'll give some significant financial support to gay and lesbian support groups. I'll have to remember to talk to Shelly about that tonight and see if she wants to join me in volunteering at a local GLAAD related organization.<p>

When I got back to my desk this morning after a lengthy department meeting, I was greeted by a wonderful unexpected surprise. Sitting on my desk was a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses with an attached card: _Good luck on your first day. Love, Shelly_

Ring...Ring... "Shelly Winters speaking, how can I help you"

"Well hello Shelly Winters speaking" I answered with a chuckle, "how has your first day been?"

"Well hello to you too, my day has been fine, it's nice feeling like a productive citizen again, how has your day been?"

"My day hasn't been too productive, just reading books and attending meetings. Actually, it's almost like being a lawyer."

Through her laughter Shelly responded with "yeah, but hopefully with this job your stalkers will be young hot college kids instead of old hairy perverts!"

"Yes, that's a good point. Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for the beautiful surprise I found on my desk."

"oh" she shyly replied. "I'm...glad you liked them. I know you were nervous about starting the job, so I ...uh...just wanted to ...I don't know...help?"

Well I never thought I'd see a 'bashful' Shelly, but I hope to see it again one day. I spent much of the rest of the day hearing from my co-workers how lucky I was to have such a sweet and romantic spouse and how their partners never send them roses. I made sure I brought home one of the roses and put it on our dining table.

When I told Shelly during dinner about the comments of my co-workers, I saw something I never thought I'd see…. I saw her blush! I have to say, it was absolutely adorable.

That night on our swing we both shared stories about our day. We talked about our new jobs and our new co-workers. I brought up my idea to volunteer with a GLAAD group and she 100% wanted to go with me. I surprised myself by talking about my feelings related to my nervousness about 'coming out' to my co-workers and watching their reactions. "I can't really explain the feeling. You never know how someone might react when you tell them about a boyfriend, but you only have to worry that they'll think he's not 'good looking' enough, or 'wealthy' enough. Until today, I never worried that someone might really 'judge' me based on who I'm with."

She said she was also a little nervous when she told the guys at work, "but then I showed them a picture of my gorgeous wife, and now they all think I'm a stud!"

I didn't realize she took a picture of us to work with her. Before bed I made sure I put one in my briefcase to show-off on my desk tomorrow.


	4. Developing Routines

Authors Note: Life got away from me, but as I still get requests to finish this story, that's what I'll do. I posted this originally years ago on at LJ. When posting on FF I intended on editing and improving it. It appears that plan won't happen. Instead I will post the remaining chapters here (9 in total) without further changes or edits. The next will follow in a few days to give you a chance to re-read the first 3 chapters.

Chapter 4 - Developing Routines

Over the next few weeks, we started to develop some regular routines. Alarm goes off, hit snooze once or twice. I'm first in the shower while Shelly starts the coffee and brings in the paper. When I'm done Shelly takes over the shower while I get ready in the bedroom. Next I pull out our breakfast of cereal and fruit while she gets ready. We share the paper over coffee and food, and then head off to our respective jobs. We speak to each other on the phone a few times during the day. At first it was because we had to tell each other something (e.g. remember to pick up bread), but now we don't always seem to have a reason.

I usually get home from work first, and spend that alone time preparing my lectures or grading papers. By the time Shelly gets home and finishes making dinner I'm usually finished all my college work so the rest of the night we spend together. Early on we realized that Shelly is the cook in the family. I once almost set the stove on fire (it wasn't my fault I swear), so I've been pretty much banned from cooking. I'm okay with that though because Shelly is a fantastic cook! She never got the chance to do much cooking in New York due to her work schedule, but I can tell she gets a lot of joy out of perfecting new dishes, and makes mental notes about the ones I seem to like more than others.

After dinner we'll get our household chores done and settle on the couch in front of the TV. Neither of us have much desire to watch cop/lawyer dramas, but that's where the similarity unfortunately ends. I want to watch history and discovery programs, where she's obsessed with 'reality shows' and sci-fi. I have no desire to watch any of that Stargate stuff, but have to confess that as much as I complained, I did get addicted to American Idol (that Crystal girl sure rocked!).

Tuesday nights I teach a night class, and I think that's good because it gives us both some independent time. I don't know what she does Tuesday nights while I'm gone, but she always seems happy to have me home when I get back so that's a good thing. Due to the night class, I don't have to go to the college till afternoon on Tuesdays which gives me some private time too after she leaves for work in the morning. I haven't yet found a routine for that time yet though. Mostly I putter around making up new chores to keep myself busy. It feels weird being in the house without her, and kind of lonely to be honest.

On Thursday nights we now volunteer at a local Center for Gay & Lesbian youth. Some of the things we've heard from the kids at the center have been truly awful, but we're doing what we can to offer support and guidance both from emotional and 'unofficial' legal standpoints. Some of our nightly porch swing discussions on Thursday nights have been truly heart wrenching. I've never been much of a touchy/feely kind of person, but getting a hug from Shelly to help me share the emotional stories makes me feel safer than I ever have. I think, I hope, she enjoys the closeness too.

I've noticed recently just how much more physical we've become with each other. At first it was for show. When we'd talk to the neighbors or go out for drinks with co-workers, or anywhere in public, we both fell into our roles as spouses and physically supported each other with arm touches, handholding, and side hugs. As we became more comfortable with each other publicly, it started to grow in our private lives without me even realizing it. We hold hands while sitting on our porch swing. We hug each other before bed and when we part for work in the morning. We sit side by side, sharing a blanket, on the sofa watching our weekly Friday night rented movies. I feel very comfortable with Shelly, more so than with any friend or boyfriend I've ever spent much time with.

I've learned that Shelly's eyes are truly the windows into her soul. They are expressive, and on different occasions they seem to have a different look, a different color. Perhaps the changes in her eyes happen randomly, or perhaps it indicates something about her moods. I look forward to learning about the different looks, and what they mean.

We go out for dinner every Saturday as our special reward, and if I didn't already know that we're married on paper, I would almost think that we're dating. Every Saturday we take extra time to dress up nice. Shelly opens doors for me and pulls out my chair, we hold hands as we walk from place to place, we share a great meal, a few glasses of wine, and talk about anything and everything.

And Saturday nights on our swing are my favorite, because we'll just sit quietly and cuddle while looking at the stars.


	5. The Fights

A/N: Thank you to everyone who kept this story on their alert list for over 2 years waiting for a new chapter, and thank you to all the new readers who have added this story over the last few days.

Years ago I posted this plot idea at a LJ group asking authors to please take the concept and run with it. While waiting to see if anyone would write a story, I decided to try it myself (my first and only story). 2 authors took the plot concept and wrote stories, but I've long since lost the links. If anyone has seen a story based on this concept, please send me the links. And if you want to try writing this idea in a different direction, please let me know so I can follow your story.

Chapter 5 – The Fights

Alex and Olivia were very passionate people, and their fights were almost legendary. Emily and Shelly still have those personalities, so you can imagine that after we let some things build up, tonight our 'spousal' argument became rather heated.

Why do I need to hit the snooze button she asks? When the alarm goes off again and again it apparently pisses her off. If it really pissed her off, she could just get up and take the first shower!

Why do you obsess about holding the TV remote? You won't die if you have to actually watch a commercial. Stop channel hopping and just commit!

No it wouldn't kill me to put the glass directly in the dishwasher, but maybe I leave it in the sink because I might want to use it again. And it won't kill anyone if it stays in the sink overnight. If you left it there and weren't obsessive about having the kitchen spotless, I would put it in the washer the next morning!

I like doing the crossword too. Must you always do half of it before I even get out of the shower?

Yes, these seem like rather petty things, but we learned a lesson tonight to not let things build up. After yelling about each others annoying habits, the accusations became more personal.

She feels like she's the only one trying to make our spousal arrangement work by sending me flowers or making special treats or surprising me at work to take me out to lunch.

I feel as though I'm the only one sharing my personal feelings. I open myself up to her about the tugs on my heartstrings by the youth at the center, or how I miss my mother and being a prosecutor. She'll empathize with what I share, but never volunteers her own deep feelings, the ones that make her vulnerable, the ones that really hurt.

The argument ended with me storming off to the bedroom and slamming the door, soon followed by the slamming of the front door before she left in the car.

The next hour felt like the longest hour of my life. Although I started out livid, pacing the floor, talking out loud presenting the arguments to myself (yes apparently I'm still a lawyer at heart). But soon the true lawyer in me came out, and I started to see the other side and poked holes in my own arguments. It wasn't long before I realized how unimportant the annoying things were, and how unfair I was being expecting her to become someone different than her nature. In all the years I've known her, she's always been strong emotionally, always focused on the other persons feelings and helping them through it, sometimes at the price of her own heart. I've become more open emotionally to her because it's ingrained in her to get others to open up to her. And I've relied on her strength to help me through my emotions, perhaps to the extent that I made her feel that she HAD to always be the strong one. But just because she's not 'saying' the emotions, doesn't mean she's not 'showing' the emotions. During times when there's been more stress at work, or more devastation with the youth, or more homesickness, Shelly tends to be less verbal, but more physical. Extra hugs, more hand squeezes, sitting closer together on the couch. The more physical she is, the more I reciprocate and initiate, and I can almost feel the tension leave her body as she relaxes and her emotions get under control. The next day I always get a flower or lunch delivered to work, or a surprise visit to my office. It's almost like she's thanking me for being there for her when she needed it.

I can't believe I never noticed the patterns. The realization that I've been so ignorant to her needs and her pain had me sobbing more than any time in my life.

By the time she got home I think I was out of tears. I was sitting on our swing hugging my knees to my chest; staring so hard at the sky I almost didn't hear the back door open. As soon as I looked in her eyes, I saw the depth of her sadness and the remnants of her tears, and I was overwhelmed with the guilt that I had been the one responsible for putting the sadness in those eyes. I almost knocked over the swing in my haste to get to her, so I could wrap my arms around her as tight as I could. I told her how sorry I was, but it wasn't enough. I showed her how sorry I was by squeezing the air out of her with my arms.

When we finally sat together on the swing, there was no space between us. I was practically sitting in her lap, with her arms around me, and my head on her shoulder. I'm glad it was a Friday and we didn't have to work the next morning because we were up talking for hours. We talked through everything we fought about, and things we hadn't yet discussed. I talked about everything I realized and everything I felt through the night. More tears were shed by both of us as she opened her heart and let herself be truly vulnerable. She talked about how she felt about her father being a rapist. She talked about growing up as a child of an alcoholic. She talked about how she learned from her mother to never express her feelings. And how she learned as a cop to ignore her feelings. She told me that over the last few months she's slowly been trying to overcome her earlier teachings and she'll try to work harder to be more emotionally expressive with me. I think she's more emotionally connected with me than perhaps she has been with anyone in her life.

We went to bed emotionally and physically exhausted, but there was a huge weight off our shoulders, and a new found closeness and connectedness. We didn't take our places on opposite sides of the bed, but instead we met in the middle with our arms wrapped around each other as we fell asleep. I may have had sex many times, but this was the first time I was truly intimate.


	6. Secret

A/N Hey everyone, here is chapter 6 of 9. Thank you to those who have added my story and provided feedback. I'm glad people are enjoying the story.

To Kstewie: Thanks for recommending that story. It wasn't one I had read before, but it certainly is a similar premise.

Chapter 6 – Secret

Today I found out that my wife has been keeping a secret. I'm not sure where it ranks on a scale of how serious the secret is. It's not as serious as if she was having an 'affair', because she's not. Regardless of the fact that we've been forced into this marriage, I know in my heart that Shelly's internal integrity would never allow her to sway. And it's not as minimal as if she snuck in a chocolate bar when we're supposed to be on a diet (she's done that, but so have I). It's somewhere in the middle, but it's turned out to be a very important secret.

Starting at lunch today, my wife began acting very strangely. We usually talk on the phone at some point during our lunch hour, but today Shelly kept me on the phone talking about inane things for almost our entire break. Then she called me multiple times throughout the afternoon, and no call had a specific purpose. She seemed very obsessed with talking to me and keeping me occupied during any of my downtime. She seemed fixated on ensuring that I come straight home after work. My initial happiness about the extra time I got to spend talking with my wife today slowly eroded to concern and then worry as I realized that something was up, and I probably wouldn't like it.

When I got home from work, Shelly was home waiting for me. As I usually get home first, seeing her car in the driveway confirmed my fears that something big, and something bad was about to happen.

The secret itself turned out to be small...she was having the New York Times delivered to her office, and during her daily lunch she was staying apprised of the happenings of our old city, and our old co-workers. In normal situations I would probably not much care that she was going against the direct instructions of our FBI handlers (which was to stay away from anything related to our old lives and move on with our new ones). I would have been more upset that she found out things about our old friends that I wanted to know too, but never told me. Later I found out that Elliot had once been severely stabbed, but survived. Later I found out that the ADA that replaced me seemed competent, but had a horrible sense of fashion. Later I found out that my mother donated part of my estate to a Rape Crisis center, because she knew that's what I would have wanted. Later I found out that Munch got married, again.

Later I found out about each of those events, and Shelly and I spent time laughing together talking about the good things we missed about New York. I found that all out later, but not today. Today I found out my mother had died. Shelly read her obituary today during lunch in the NY Times. For the rest of the day Shelly was focused on 2 things: 1) to tell me in person when we got home, and 2) to make sure I didn't find out in another way (or to be ready to support me immediately if I found out somewhere else).

When I got home she greeted me with the warmest, most supportive full body hug I've ever experienced. She took my hand and brought me over to the couch to sit with her. She never let go of my hand as she told me softly that my mother had passed away from a heart attack. She listened to me as I raged about the injustice of outliving my mother when she didn't even know I was still alive. She argued with me when I shared my feelings of guilt thinking that my 'death' caused the extra stress on her heart. She held me as a cried.

My wife surprised me today. I've seen her deliver bad news to hundreds of family members during our time at SVU, and I know her cop trained platitudes, her word choices, her offers of support and resources. I've seen how she can appear so in tune with the needs of the victim while protecting her own heart to ensure she kept her emotional distance even as she offered her verbal support. Today I saw none of the 'cop', I only saw and felt my wife. I saw in her eyes how her heart was breaking for me, I sensed in her arms how she knew she was my lifeline, and I felt in her touch how much she wanted to be the one to support me through this.

Today I learned more than just that my mother passed away. I also learned that Shelly and I were more than just friends, and more than a married couple (on paper), and more than 2 people thrust together in witness protection. I learned that I don't just turn to Shelly because I have to in this situation; I learned that I turn to Shelly because I WANT to, because I NEED to. I learned that there is love between us. I don't know yet what kind of love it is, but I know I love her. And I know that she loves me.

That night as we sat together on our swing, I sat quietly with Shelly's arm around me. I had no more tears to shed, and no more words to speak. But I felt safe, and loved, wrapped in Shelly's arms, and realized that there was no better place at this moment for me to be. Neither of us went to work the next day. Partially it was because I was in mourning but couldn't tell anyone why. Partially because we were both exhausted as I couldn't fall asleep that night, and Shelly stayed up with me to give me the support I needed. But mostly it was because I couldn't imagine focusing on work, and she couldn't imagine leaving my side.


	7. Truth Time

A/N Just began a new job on a 4am-noon shift. Sleep is no longer my friend apparently.

Here's chapter 7 of 9. Thanks to all my readers :)

Chapter 7 – Truth Time

Things have changed since my mothers' death. I think that I always privately held on to the belief that one day we would return back to New York and resume our lives exactly as we had left them. Now reality has hit, and the New York we once knew isn't the New York that exists now. Our family is gone. Our friends have moved on with their lives. SVU has a new ADA. Elliot has a new partner. Life went on for New York without Olivia and Alex. Life needs to move on in Iowa for Shelly and Emily. I think we both have realized this change because we've both silently seemed to put more effort and commitment into our lives dedicated together.

I call her randomly just to hear her voice. She sends me a rose 'just because'. I order a pizza, so she won't have to make dinner. She takes my hand and asks if I want to go for a walk, just to spend some outside time together. I do the laundry Tuesday morning (her usual chore), so she won't have to do it Tuesday night during her private time. She calls me to ask my opinion on one of her work situations, even though she already obviously knows the answer. I'll have a bubble bath all ready for her when she gets home from a particularly stressful day at work (I know how she loves them). She lets me stay on the History channel all night after I've had a rough day at work. It's true what they say about effective marriages, it's the little things that count, and make it work.

Sure we still have our fights, our passionate natures haven't changed. But we always make sure to talk it out. We promised to never go to bed angry and to always talk openly, even if it hurts. Whether we're in public, or alone at home, there never seems to be any emotional, or physical, distance between us. She's always holding my hand, or I'm touching her arm, or her arm is around my waist, or my head is on her shoulder. I've never been in a friendship, or a relationship, that is so constantly intimate.

Although tonight is Thursday, we've had to skip our volunteer night at the Center because my work was holding a staff barbecue. I can honestly say that I'm the luckiest wife at the entire college. Shelly is the perfect spouse. Always opening doors for me, getting me a plate of food, holding my beer when I went to the ladies room. She was my constant companion and held my hand every time it was empty. She let me shine in front of my co-workers, but contributed generously and intelligently when the attention turned to her. In the few times she left my side, my co-workers kept commenting on how we must still be in the honeymoon phase, and they were jealous of how much in love we still were, and how they wished their husbands and partners still looked at them with the same level of love that Shelly looks at me with.

I started to wonder about that love. I knew that there was love between us. I thought perhaps it was the love of deep friendship, or kinship sisters, or of 2 people who spend so much time together. Tonight while sitting on our porch swing I looked deep in her eyes, and I saw the truth. Not only do I love her, somehow I've fallen 'in love' with her. And I began to think she feels the same way.

In the spirit of open and honest communication, I told her what my co-workers had said. After a period of silence, I joked that apparently we're better actors than we thought and we should consider a new profession. I felt her arm tense, and she looked me in the eye, and told me quietly but clearly "I'm not acting, and haven't been acting for a while". I felt a zillion emotions all at once, happiness, fear, wonderment, and elation. "Thank god, I'm not the only one" I responded, and read the same feelings reciprocated in Shelly's eyes. "I love you, Alex". Hearing her say Alex told me that it wasn't just the situation that we've fallen into, she's fallen in love with me as a person, the entire person who is both Alex and Emily, the person I used to be, the person I've grown into being with her, and the person I'll become in the future. "I love you too, Olivia".

That night on the swing we verbally shared our love for each other, and we shared our first kiss. It was gentle, careful, sweet, and full of love. We both knew that tonight was not the time to move beyond our first kiss, after all, we both had to work in the morning. I found out that Shelly also had never been in a physical relationship with a women, but she blushed as she told me that she's been physically attracted to me for quite a while. I learned why some days her showers have been longer than usual, and that made me blush too. I don't know that I've ever really looked at Shelly in a sexual way. Not because she wasn't attractive, because believe me when I say that my wife is a very attractive, a very 'hot' woman. I think I just didn't want to allow myself to look at her in that way. But now that I have permission, both from myself and from her, I don't think I'll be able to stop. And I don't want to stop.


	8. The Next Steps

A/N: sorry this chapters posting took so long...I feel as though all I do is work, sleep, or think about when I can sleep again.

Almost at the end as there are 9 chapters...

Chapter 8 – The Next Steps

Waking in the morning wrapped in Shelly's arms I felt more at peace with myself than at any time in my life. I felt loved, I felt cherished. New routines began this morning. Being greeted with a kiss instead of just a "good morning" felt wonderful. Separating so that I could hop in the shower and she could go to the kitchen seemed to take a lot of effort. Sly and shy looks over the breakfast table occurred in between inane, almost nervous conversation. Saying goodbye at the door with a full bodied hug, a kiss that developed deeper than simply being chaste, and a reaffirming "I love you" from both of us got my Friday started in a wonderful way. The drive to work didn't give me enough time to think, but my body response clearly told me that I had no reason to fear that I might not be able to be attracted to Shelly because she was a woman. I was excited (in more ways than one) about our future physical relationship, but I was also terrified! It was like I was a virgin all over again, and I was scared to death that I wouldn't be able to provide Shelly with the pleasure she deserved.

By mid morning my desk was decorated with a dozen roses, colored red for the first time. My thank you phone call was lengthy because neither of us wanted to end it. Work interrupted though for both us, but not before "I love you" was said. Shelly showed up unexpected to share our packed lunches together, and I felt like I was flying on a cloud for the rest of the day. Innocent comments during our afternoon phone calls started to take on a flirtatious tone. My coworkers teased me all afternoon for my new absent-mindedness, and I just told them they were jealous that they didn't have a wife like mine. One commented that I must of got laid big time last night. I'm sure the red on my cheeks convinced them they were right. Little did they know how untrue that was, but I really hope to rectify that this weekend.

Shelly beat me home today. It looks like she had been home for a while because the aromas from the kitchen indicated a feast was being prepared with many of my favorite dishes. The hug we shared was long and full-bodied. The kiss we shared quickly became passionate. Our breathlessness when the kiss broke told me that I didn't have to be afraid. I don't think it will matter much what we do with each other when we finally take that next step, the only important factor will be that we do it together.

The night was perhaps the best date, the best companionship, the best time spent with anyone in my life. We cuddled, we talked about how both of us are scared of taking the next step because it's so new, but we're both also excited to share it together. We pretended to watch our movies; after all it is our Friday movie night. But really the movies were just background noise in behind us spending a lot of time at first base, and exploring second base, and moving on to third base. At that point we realized that we either needed to stop and slow down, or move to our bedroom. We looked each other deep in the eye, and I no longer felt any fear. I told her I loved her, stood up, reached out my hand to silently invite her to join me. In no time our hands were joined and she followed me to our bedroom.

Neither of us got much sleep that night. Hours were spent exploring this new physical aspect to our relationship. I found out what her eyes look like when she's aroused, and believe me when I say that they're breathtaking! At first it was someone awkward, almost like we were teenagers. But soon a particularly heated kiss developed into something more as clothes were removed, and newly exposed skin was explored and cherished. Shelly told me she loved me, and then showed me just how much. When I recovered, I made sure she knew the depth of my love. It was a long night, a tiring night, and a wonderful night. The next morning we were both exhausted, but let me assure you, it was worth it!


	9. The End

A/N - Short but sweet. Sorry folks, thought I had uploaded this months ago...apparently the upload didn't actually occur.

I hope you have all enjoyed this story. I also hope that others take this story premise (they go into WP together and fall in love), but write it in a different way. If you do, please let me know, as I'd love to read it!

Chapter 9 – The End, or perhaps, the beginning.

Shelly and Emily Winters have been married on paper for 2 years. We spent our 2-year anniversary in Hawaii, the location of our fabricated honeymoon. We wanted to do it for real this time. Although we didn't get 'remarried', we did have our own private ceremony where we recited personalized vows to each other, and gave each other necklaces that matched our wedding rings. Hundreds of pictures were taken, and we've slowly replaced the fake ones in our home and at work with the new ones that show us truly in love.

We don't talk much about New York. Shelly doesn't get the New York Times anymore, but we do Google the names of Elliot, and Don, and Finn, and Munch to see what's happening with our old friends. We've settled happily in our new life in Iowa. Shelly's been promoted at her work, and I've taken on some more challenging courses to teach at the College.

Sure we both still argue, after-all, we're both still very passionate women. But now we also express our passion in other, more enjoyable ways. And we still end every evening sitting side-by-side, holding hands, talking about anything and everything, while nestled in our porch swing. I love my wife, and I love my new life.

The End


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